i had been happy, and i was happy still

Comme si cette grande colère m’avait purgé du mal, vidé d’espoir, devant cette nuit chargée de signes et d’étoiles, je m’ouvrais pour la première fois à la tendre indifférence du monde. De l’éprouver si pareil à moi, si fraternel enfin, j’ai senti que j’avais été heureux, et que je l’étais encore.   Pour que tout soit consommé, pour que je me sente moins seul, il me restait à souhaiter qu’il y ait beaucoup de spectateurs le jour de mon exécution et qu’ils m’accueillent avec des cris de haine.

“As if this great anger had washed me clean, emptied me of hope, before that night sky full of signs and stars, I opened myself for the first time to the tender indifference of the world.  To feel it so like myself, finally, so brotherly, I felt that I had been happy, and that I was happy still. For everything to be consumed, for me to feel less alone, all that remained to wish was that there would be many spectators on the day of my execution and that they would greet me with cries of hatred.”

-Albert Camus, L’Étranger

a Dave Van Ronk song

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